Hey Muffins!

Okay, lots of exciting things to tell you about this time! Everything is so awesome at the minute. It makes a change to be talking about nice things. It's funny really. People never complain when I'm being all emo and everything I say is bad or sad or whatever but whenever I can't stop talking about happy things people seem to be forever complaining at me. Well you know what? Fuuuck off :) lol. Don't like me being happy just because your not? Don't read this. K?

So, first things first. Or second it would seem. But whatever.
I AM IN LOVE! Yes, I am indeed. It feels weird, cause I know this is actually the real thing this time. I've never been so happy in my life. This past month has been amazing, and I just know that we're going to have some damn awesome times together in the future.
I never saw my last relationship as a long term thing. This time however, things are completely different. The way I feel about Jono is completely different. It feels real and amazing and I love it :)
The awesome thing is I'm still seeing all my mates as much as I was before. Emmily is still coming over every Tuesday after school and I have Tuesday day time to see my other friends whenever they can be arsed. Which isn't often. Either that or none of us have any money so we can't see each other. But oh well. I haven't changed anything. Some of them are being off with me, but oh well, their loss!!
So yeah, Jono is awesome, and definately the best thing to happen to me in a very very long time <3

Secondly, I AM GOING TO LEEDS FESTIVALLLL!
Okay so it's only for the Saturday but still, how amazing is that!? My Chemical Romance are headlining so it's gonna ROCK! Emmily's dad bought us tickets without telling us. I love him sometimes, seriously!
Also, Papa Roach just announced 2 UK dates. One of them is for London and the other is for SHEFFIELD! Yes that's right, someone in the world actually remembered that Sheffield still existed! So excited! I'm guessing Emmily and myself are off to that one!
I'm also off to see My Passion twice at the end of April in Leeds and Manchester. Also with Emmily! AND we're going to see Avenue Q at Sheffield in a couple of weeks time!
THEN to top everything off I bought Jono some tickets to see Jimmy Carr this coming Sunday as a last minute surprise for him! So excited, it's going to rock! :D
SO all in all I've got a busy few months ahead! Also very skint ones, haha!

Last of all, something else that was amazing happened to me last month. My dream of 10 years finally came true and I met my heroes; Good Charlotte. Twice. In one week! It was FUCKING amazing. Seriously, meeting Benjamin Madden and the other guys absolutely made my life. They're the nicest people I ever met. Paul was especially nice; I wanted to steal him and bring him home with me!

Anyway, I'm going to leave you with this amazing song by Papa Roach cause I now have it stuck in my head thanks to getting excited for the show at Sheffield, and I'm gonna go and do something with my man, as I'm currently stealing his computer.



(Love this song <3)

Hope you're all doing well.

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xxx

Instructions:

Your name and/or username
Where you're from
The following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught, Orange, Coffee, direction, naturally, aluminium and herbs
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bubbly carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining?
What is the thing you change the TV channel with?

Read this passage from The Speech Accent Archive:

"Please call Stella. Ask her to bring these things with her from the store: Six spoons of fresh snow peas, five thick slabs of blue cheese, and maybe a snack for her brother Bob. We also need a small plastic snake and a big toy frog for the kids. She can scoop these things into three red bags, and we will go meet her Wednesday at the train station."

Thanks Telle, hahaha
And for those of you who don't know, Sheffield is in Yorkshire! :D

Also, sore throat is sore, so sorry!

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xx

Hey Muffins <3

So, it's been a while, eh? I finally remembered my Username! After trying every other name I use, I remembered it was Tartblossom. Haha.

How the devil are you all?

I'm sorry I've not been around lately. After my last epic long post I decided to take a break from all of these places for a bit. I got happy for a while and I didn't need anywhere to vent my anger, but alas, here we are again, same old situation, same old shit.

Me and my ex had a talk a couple of weeks ago, which would have been fine if they hadn't ended up being a complete arsehole. I hate that people think the sun shines out of their fucking arse. I mean, I'm not the best person, but seriously.. grr.
To make things worse, I seem to feel lonely ALL. THE. TIME. lately. It's not like I'm one of these people that NEEDS a Boyfriend/Girlfriend to feel complete, whole, like they belong; but sometimes I could do with hugs, you know?
Even a friend that doesn't live 2 bus rides away would be fabulous. You know, somewhere I could just go round for a couple of hours in the evening? Or someone that'd just come here and watch shite on TV or old DVDs.
Yeah, I have Emmily who is one of the most awesome people in my life right now, but she still don't live close enough for me to pop round for an hour at a time.

YAY for feeling sorry for myself haha. I'd be surprised if any of you guys were following me anymore or even gave a damn. All I ever do on here in these late entries is moan and rant.
What an emo bitch, ha.

I'm gonna piss off now. Hope you're all fab.

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xxx

Hey muffins :)

Well... this is the second day of my holiday and I have a lot planned for the next 7 days, so hopefully it's gonna be awesome.

I'm posting this 'cause I was just listening to Paramore's song, "Looking Up". Now, even if you don't like Paramore, I urge you to listen to this, and the lyrics. I know in the song, it talks about their band, but I always listen to it as though their band is me, and I just love this song so much. It makes me feel so much better every time I listen to it. <3



It's just a feel good song I guess, about pulling through no matter what. I like to think I can do that.
When I listen to this it always reminds me of when I saw them in Glasgow at the SECC. I cried happy tears at this song, and I still do.
Just listen, it might make you feel a bit better. <3

Okay, so, I have lots planned this week like I said! I'm off to see Belle tomorrow!! <3 Yayyy! It's been too long since we met up, so that's going to rock socks. Think we're going to Sheffield, maybe Meadowhall too, for Pizza Hut! Om nom nom :)
On Friday, I don't know what I'm doing yet. Might just go for a walk, or maybe nip into town for some new clothes.
On Saturday I'm off to Bevs house with Spuddles :) That's gonna be cool.
On Sunday I'm having my neice for the day. Hopefully taking her to the cinema but if there's no good kids films on, I'll just take her for some dinner and buy her some goodies. :) I <3 my niece lots.
On Monday, me and Spud are off the Cleethorpes for the day! Sea side here we come! I'm really excided about this as I haven't been to the sea side in what seems like forever! lmao. I plan on playing mini golf, and eating fish and chips, lol.

That's about it really, next Tues and Weds I'll probably just chillax as I'm back at work on Thursday. :( Booo.

Anyway, will post pics soon and keep you all updated, just thought I'd post the song. It makes me feel happy. :)

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xxx

–noun
the study of the heart and its functions in health and disease.

Hey muffins.

How are you all? I hope you're all doing good.

Okay... I feel a lot better since my last entry. I know I've not been updating as much as I should be again, and I'm sorry. But a LOT has been going on in my life this past month or so, and things have sucked a lot. However, things are now looking up again, and hopefully I'll be feeling like my old self very soon. :)

First of all, I have been working almost none stop for just over a month. There's been so much overtime at work, and I've been copping a large part of it, not only on the tills but in the cash office as well. Double and split shifts for 16 days in a row... jeezo. But things have calmed down a bit now, and I have 4 more shifts left, then a whole 9 days off. NINE DAYS! It'll be like christmas come early, only better!

Secondly, myself and one of my sisters aren't talking. It's not really bothering me that much to be honest, I am just angry at some of the things she told my mum that weren't true, and made me look like the bad one. She told her what I'd said to her, but she didn't think to mention what she said to me, and that I was just replying to that. And she did the same to my other sister. So annoyed at her. Even if we do end up talking again, things won't ever be the same with her, and I will never trust her again. She's done it before, and this was the last straw. GRR so angry.

Last of all, me and my boyfriend have split up. I was upset, and I'm upset that we're not really talking anymore, but it's something I needed to do. We were friends before we were together, and have been best friends for over a year, but, I have to move on with my life. I wasn't happy anymore. Not for any fault of his, he's the most awesome person I have ever met, and I mean that sincerely, but on my part, I didn't feel happy anymore. I guess it's just one of those things. I don't regret any of it, and one day I hope we can be friends again, but until then, I wish him all the best of luck with everything he's worked hard for in life.

This past week, it's been hard, but I feel a lot better today. I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been living a lie, and when I woke up, I felt like I'd gone back and was stepping into my old shoes. I feel like I can be myself again, and like I haven't been myself for a long time.
That's totally untrue, becuase I was myself the whole time, but I guess I changed a lot for certain people, but now they aren't in my life anymore, I kinda feel like I can go back to being the old me. The me that everybody loved. The me that wasn't afraid of anything. The me that wasn't afraid of taking risks. The me that liked having fun. The me that I liked.

It sounds harsh, but it's how I feel. That's the easiest way I can explain it I guess.
I'm not just on about this last year either, but since about half way through 2008 I haven't been myself. I guess it's what relationships do to you. They change you, even when you don't see it happening in your own eyes, they do. I've been in 2 relationships since June 2008, and I don't regret either. But they did change me.

The best time of my life since my dad died was the first 6 months of 2008, maybe the tail end of 2007 as well. Christmas 2007 was utter shite, but I was working at the Charity Shop then, and had no income. My mother was struggling to pay all the bills, but I had amazing friends at that time and I enjoyed the volunteer work more than anything.

November 2007 me and my cousin went to see Within Temptation, and I kind of see that as the start of everything that was good in 2007/2008. There were things before that that I remember as sort of landmark things, odd days, like going to Manchester with Spud and Amber, just for a day out, but nothing much really.
One of my best friends commited suicide earlier in that year, and I have never really spoken to anyone about that. None of my family know. Especially not my mother. Because of that, I was finding it hard to cope at college, and I ended up dropping out at the end of March. I didn't have a job for about 6 months, until I went into the charity shop and got my volunteer job there, simply because nowhere would give me a job as I was under 18 and only had my GCSE's as qualifications.
From then, things started to pick up.

I loved my job, even though I wasn't getting paid for it. I had some amazing friends, online and offline. Then in Feb 2008, I got offered the job where I'm working now. It's only in The Co-operative Food, but I love it, and I'm so grateful for the job. My mum works there too, my cousin and my aunty. Neil, the manager, had heard how many hours I was working volunteerly at the charity shop (I was working 5 or 6 days a week from 8:30am to 5:30pm), and he thought it was amazing for someone my age, so he offered me a job.
I accepted straight away, handed my application form in, and started the next Friday.
So, I started getting an income, which meant I could do things I only dreamt of a few weeks before.

I went to meet my best friend of the time, Dani, in London. We'd been talking online for about 2 years, and we'd been on about meeting for ages. I said as soon as I'd got a job I was going to go and meet her, and that's just what I did. It was an awesome day, one that I'll never forget.
I got to go and see some awesome bands as well, including Good Charlotte, my favourite band of all time.
I also went to see Paramore - another one of my favourite bands ever - Nightwish and Emilie Autumn.
I guess that's what made it completely amazing for me, because I love music, and I couldn't live without it. Even if I'd only been to see Good Charlotte, it would have been the most amazing thing ever. It was. And I'll never ever forget that night.
I got to travel to different cities a lot, because of the bands, and I spent a lot of time going places with my cousin and my friends.
I guess it was just an awesome time.

I want my life to feel that good again. I want to be able to do those things again. And I am going to!
I have no ties, I'm young, I'm free, I'm single, and I WILL be happy.
I'm thinking about going to volunteer one day a week for the charity shop again, and I'm going to start going places again, whether people will come with me or not.
I'm going to see as many bands as I can (that I like obviously), and I am going to be ME again.

I wouldn't have gotten through 2007 without certain people, including my cousin Spud, my friends Tristan and Pete, Dani, Belle and Amber.
They were amazing to me. I owe so much to them.
Just want to say Thankyou to you guys. It's because of you that I can be who I am now.

Also, I just want to explain the title of the blog.
Not only is it Good Charlotte's upcoming album release, it is true to the meaning of everything I just wrote.
It all comes from the heart, whether it be happy or sad, it's how I feel, or how I once felt, and it means a lot to me.
Sometimes our hearts feel diseased, and they actually physically hurt from the pain of losing someone, whether it be a friend, a lover or a member of family, but at the same time, they can be healed. They can feel better, through all the good things in life.
No matter how low your life seems at the moment, and how much your heart hurts, YOU can get better, and you will, and your heart will heal.

Life is good.

I [will] love my life.

:)

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xxx

P.S. Sorry for the amazingly long ramble, I've been typing for an hour. :3

P.P.S. Here is are some pics from 2007/2008. Life was good.



Me and Spud at Good Charlotte :)



Me, Tristan and Pete on New Years Eve 2007 :)



Me and Amber at Amber's 18th, 2007. :)



Spud and Me just after Paramore, Feb 2008. :)



Belle and Me just before Emilie Autumn gig, March 2008. :)



Me and Dani, May 2008. :)

<3

P.P.P.S. As for recent time, I've made another couple of friends that mean the absolute world to me, and as this is a journal about the past, I wasn't going to include them, but fuck it, they've been amazing to me this past year, and they deserve a mention as well.

Telle and Bev are the two friends I'm on about.
I love them to pieces, and back together again, and they've made the past years bearable.
I LOVE YOU TWO <3



Telle and Me, December 2009. <3



Me and Bev, April 2010. <3

You guys are amazing <3

I feel so horrible lately.

Not being able to say "Hello" is killing me.

:'(

I deserve feeling like this though...

I feel so horrible lately.

Not being able to say "Hello" is killing me.

:'(

I deserve feeling like this though...

Okay, so I'm layed here, watching Buffy, feeling utter poo. I don't know what to do with my mind anymore. I dont know what I feel inside, I just feel kind of empty, you know?
I feel bad having these thoughts, because I know there are people out there who are much worse off than me. Some of my best friends to be exact. But you know, it's not often I feel like this anymore. So I just try muddle through like everyone else. But sometimes it would be nice for people to ask me how I feel, and for people to see that I need help for once.
But who am I kidding? Most of my friends don't give a shit. They use me when they need the help, then when they've got it, they just forget, move on, cause of course I'm happy all the time.
They're too busy having affairs people they shouldnt be, going behind the backs of people they supposedly love, care more about people who are going to end up being the end of them, than their family, getting into trouble that even I cant stop anymore. No time for Katy anymore. No time for including me in their shit. "Oh yeah we went such and such a place today, you could have come..."
Yeah... i could have come if youd thought to tell me before you went.
Eurgh... why am i bothering with them anymore?
They use me, and I let them.
I'm the idiot here.
It sounds petty and selfish, but I dont fucking care.
All them secrets that are being held inside... why am i bothering keeping them? What am I gaining from keeping things inside? Absolutely fuck all.
I think some people might wanna start fessing up before I get there first.
Eurgh.

Buffy time.

Hellooo muffins! <3

I am still here! I know I know, I have neglected you all lately. I am a very bad person and deserve rocks thrown at me, or something along those lines, but I am updating now, so all is not lost. Not yet anyway...

Well I THINK the last time I updated was before October, before Telle and Myself had even met! WELL! Now we have twice, and I love her to bits!
The first time she came to mine, and we did lots of fun stuffs. The second time was in the beginning of December and we went to see Paramore in Glasgow! <3 MAN that was one of the best times of my life, ever! The whole trip, not just Paramore.
I'm not going to go into detail because we'll be here all night, so all I will say is that Telle is absolutely awesome, and I love her to bits! Hopefully I shall be meeting up with her again next month as she has moved down to Birmingham. <3 Yayyyyy. :)
Here is a pic...




Other than that, I don't really know what to tell you.
Christmas wasn't that great this year. Although I enjoyed the day itself, for the most part anyway, it was just pretty crap yet again.
I had a good time on New Years Eve, but still, it was pretty shit overall. I got to spend it with two of my best friends though, so that was really cool. :)
My eldest cat Sooty died last week as well. He was about 15 years old, and has had a good life, but we (me and mother) were both really upset none the less. He was here when my dad died, and has slept in the bedroom with my mother most nights since then, 11 years ago; so it has hit her quite hard bless her.
Still, we have Barney (dog) and Benji (young cat) to keep us company. :) <3

This week has been kind of strange. I'm not quite sure how I feel about a lot of things at the moment, and it can kind of mess with your head when you feel like this. I am confused about a hell of a lot. And it's leading to some thoughts that I would rather not be having.
I'm not sure if there's anyone that would understand me, so I'm not telling people, apart from a couple of best friends. I don't know if I am doing the right thing. Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. I guess we'll find out in the long run, right?
Life is too short to be worrying about these things, yet we do it anyway.
Rah.
I'm talking nonsense because I'm tired, ill, and could do with a good nights sleep.

I promise I shall do a proper update soon. :)
Off to sleep now. <3

Love and Bloody Crumpets,
Katy xxx